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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23745112">small potatoes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewritingbarista/pseuds/thewritingbarista'>thewritingbarista</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt, Last Kiss, M/M, Self-Hatred, kind of sad, major major endgame spoilers, persona 5 royal spoilers, we're crying out here, what could've happened that night on 2/2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 10:28:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,068</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23745112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewritingbarista/pseuds/thewritingbarista</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>P5R ENDGAME SPOILERS</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Ren didn’t respond, he went on. “All you have to do is stick to your guns and challenge Maruki. Or are you really so spineless that you’d fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life?”</p><p>Ren grit his teeth, eyes flitting down to the ground. “This isn’t small potatoes.”</p><p>Akechi’s eyes snapped up from the table and glared at him, mouth curling into a snarl. “It is! Do you think I’d be happy with this? Being shown mercy now, of all times? I don’t want to be pitied—this isn’t something I’m debating with you.”</p><p> </p><p>Ren must make a decision. Both of them know which choice is the right one - nobody told him it would be this hard.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>134</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>small potatoes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23588908">the reminder of our mortality</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/empyrean03/pseuds/empyrean03">empyrean03</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>go check out that fic^^- that author's writing is so good. as for the title, I read <a href="https://uwukechi.tumblr.com/post/614386744745426944/small-potatoes">this tumblr post that talked about the phrase</a> and thought it was pretty interesting. Here's my take on what could've happened that night after Maruki left. I finished the game last night and I'm still not over it. I was bawling my eyes out during that scene, but I'm also really confused at all the theories that have come up post-ending? It makes my head hurt. there may be some mistakes in here and I apologize deeply. Writing is not my forte but I knew I had to do something after seeing the ending of p5r.</p><p>I tried to not write Akechi too OOC. bc dang. he is kind of an interesting character to write. i'm sorry if I did his character shame.</p><p>Also- I did take a few lines of dialogue out from the actual game. I know it's probably not a good idea to put those lines in the summary. you were warned in the tags.</p><p>okay that's it goodbye enjoy this fic thank you</p><p>edit: rip small potatoes 2020</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Maruki left, calling card in hand, Ren hadn’t said a word. The cheery jingle of the bell as the door closed amplified Akechi’s words.</p><p>“I’d like to speak to him. Alone.” He glanced at Morgana pointedly. Morgana hesitated for a moment, then nodded. He hopped onto the head of the booth seat, looking down at Ren still sitting.</p><p>“I’ll leave the decision to you, Ren. Let me know when you’ve reached an answer.” His soft pawsteps were barely audible as he left the room, where it was now just Akechi and Ren. They both stood in the walkway of the cafe, Akechi still bundled up in his beige coat with that stupid red scarf. He wore jet-black gloves.</p><p>“Before you say anything, I want you to know this,” said Akechi, looking at the neat stack of napkins at the booth table next to them. “I want to carve my own path for myself. I refuse to accept a reality concocted by someone else, stuck under their control for the rest of my days.” </p><p>When Ren didn’t respond, he went on. “All you have to do is stick to your guns and challenge Maruki. Or are you really so spineless that you’d fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life?”</p><p>Ren grit his teeth, eyes flitting down to the ground. “This isn’t small potatoes.”</p><p>Akechi’s eyes snapped up from the table and glared at him, mouth curling into a snarl. “It <em> is! </em> Do you think I’d be happy with this? Being shown mercy now, of all times? I don’t want to be pitied—this isn’t something I’m debating with you.”</p><p>It was too much. The overload of information that had just been delivered to him all in the span of one night was too much. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing him again. </p><p>“..I want to hear you say it aloud. What do you intend to do.” There was no quiver in Akechi’s voice. His words were blunt, yet they pierced through Ren like sharp daggers.</p><p>Ren clenched his fist. The floor tiles of Leblanc seemed to captivate him now more than ever. The silence between the two hung in the air. Ren cherished the comforting silence he shared with Akechi. He never felt compelled to speak, to break the bubble. The way Akechi looked when he sat by the bar in Leblanc was enough. The way his gloved hand lifted the cup of coffee delicately to his lips, blowing ever so slightly on the steaming rim. Ren always wondered if Akechi ever went out without wearing those damn gloves. </p><p>Now he would never know.</p><p>He glanced up at Akechi, looking him in the eye. He searched those scarlet red pools, looking for <em> something. </em>Anything that told him that Akechi had even the slightest bit of emotion. Of fear, regret, or even pain. </p><p>“So you’re really okay with this. With disappearing forever,” Ren corrected himself. He desperately searched Akechi for a sign. <em> Please tell me you’re afraid. </em></p><p>“Don’t humor me,” Akechi’s voice was cold. “We both know what needs to be done. What’s at stake isn’t my life. Maruki—”</p><p>“To hell with whatever Maruki just told us. I fucking <em> know </em>this is the right thing to do. I know this reality is fucked up and it’s messing with everyone. So why is it so hard for me to say it..?” Ren took a step closer towards him, close enough that he could see the loose threads on Akechi’s coat. He could see how thick and warm the red scarf actually looked, how little sleep he’d been getting lately, how his gloved hands were trembling ever so slightly. </p><p>A sign.</p><p>“You’re beautiful, did anyone ever tell you that?” Ren murmured, his hand trailing up from his side to cup Akechi’s cheek. It was warm. Akechi winced at the contact but didn’t shy away from it, eyes wide with surprise and cheeks flushed.  His thumb brushed Akechi’s cheekbone as he took in his features. His eyes glanced over his long, fluttering lashes and perfect skin. The boy took a deep breath, eyes narrowed slightly.</p><p>Akechi always looked like he had something to say. There was always a retort coming from his mouth nowadays. After their brief reunion in the laundromat after New Years, that devious smirk seemed to hide countless snapbacks and cold words Ren never knew could come out of his mouth.</p><p>For the first time since they met, Akechi was speechless, at a loss for words. His mouth was open, silently screaming at Ren as if he was yelling, <em> What the fuck are you doing, </em>but nothing came out. </p><p>“Shut up,” Akechi whispered. “I hate you.” He pushed Ren away weakly, to no effect. It brought the two of them closer. Ren was now so close that he could hear Akechi’s shaky breath, feel his chest shake with every inhale.</p><p>“I know,” Ren said simply. “I know I’m selfish for doing this, but just let me have this. Please.” His hand left Akechi’s cheek, and he slowly extended his arms over Akechi’s shoulders to embrace him tightly. Ren noticed how small his frame really was. He could almost touch his own fingertips when he wrapped his arms around Akechi. He stuck his nose into Akechi’s neck, burrowing himself in the scent. He smelled of fresh cologne and honey, of restlessness and contempt. Did he shower last night? His hair looked softer than usual.</p><p>“This... This isn’t going to change anything. You do know we still have to face Maruki tomorrow.” Akechi’s voice was shaking. He didn’t know where to put his hands. He awkwardly laid them on Ren’s head, fingers tightening in the endless swirls of fluffy, black hair.</p><p>“I know,” Ren repeated. “Just a little longer,” he whispered, blinking back tears. He would give anything to this goddamned world to let him just hold Akechi a while longer. Long enough so he could forget that all this shit was happening to him. Long enough so he could make himself believe that the Akechi in his arms was <em>real, </em> breathing and alive<em>. </em></p><p>“I don’t get you sometimes,” said Akechi, trying to squirm out of Ren’s tight grasp. “This is—fuck, get off of me already—this is clearly a win-win situation for you guys.” Despite Akechi’s thrashing, Ren’s grip only tightened. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. </p><p>A win-win situation?</p><p>“What the hell are you talking about?” Ren’s left hand cradled Akechi’s head, pushing his face deeper into Akechi’s neck. He could feel Akechi’s rising pulse, the <em> badump badump </em>of his heartbeat underneath that thick coat.</p><p>“Don’t take me for a fool. I know what the other Phantom Thieves think of me. None of them trusted me from the start. You should know this, of all people,” Akechi sneered, but Ren could see past it, he felt the bitterness behind his words. “Not only that but in case you’ve forgotten, I’ve killed people. I’m a fucking <em> murderer. </em>The fact that I’m still here should have been a red flag. Someone like me shouldn’t even be able to stand here right now. It’s revolting.” He couldn’t contain the tremble in his voice in that last sentence, but his eyes were still blazing. Akechi finally gave in, his arms going limp as Ren embraced him.</p><p>Admittedly, Ren was fully aware of how the other Thieves didn’t trust Akechi. Ever since he decided to rejoin the group back in January for Maruki’s Palace, each of the members had their own two cents on what they thought of Akechi. </p><p>
  <em> “I know that Crow’s working with us to defeat Maruki, but I just can’t bring myself to trust him after all he’s done. Especially with what happened to Father.” Haru fiddled with her gloves nervously, eyes glancing briefly over at Akechi leaning on the blinding white lockers in Maruki’s Safe Room. </em>
</p><p><em> “Akechi?” Ryuji had asked. “Well… I know that he saved us from Shido’s Palace back in that engine room, but I can’t forgive him for what he did to you. He tried to </em> kill <em> you, man! That’s effed up!” </em></p><p>Ren let go of Akechi after a while, arms slowly withdrawing. The warmth from the hug was gone. He cupped Akechi’s face again, leaning in so their foreheads touched.</p><p>“But I lose you,” Ren’s voice was barely audible. “That’s no win-win for me.” His eyes drifting down towards Akechi’s lips. Oh, how vulnerable he looked at this moment. The snarl had been wiped off his face and was replaced with something else that Ren couldn’t quite pinpoint. </p><p>“Why are you doing this, Ren?” Akechi’s eyes had lost their fire. “You care so much about… about <em> this </em>that it hurts. It hurts so much.”</p><p>There was nothing Ren could say to that. He leaned in closer, tilting his head slightly and slowly brought his lips to Akechi’s. Time itself seemed to freeze, and everything in Leblanc around the two seemed to disappear the moment their lips intertwined. It was a long kiss, both Ren and Akechi telling each other things that couldn’t be said in words. Akechi’s small moans as he fought for dominance in the kiss drove Ren further on. He began to add tongue, sliding into Akechi’s mouth like it was his property. His other hand not cupping Akechi’s cheek shot up to his hair, running his fingers through them. Akechi wasn’t able to protest but fought back, doing the same. The two were locked in, sloppily running their tongues through each other and messing up each others’ hair. Akechi was so <em> good. </em> His soft whines, the way his body seemed to just accept Ren, the slightly exposed wrists not covered from his gloves, <em> everything. </em> It was painful, for Ren to know this would be their first and last. So he was going to make this moment last as long as he could. Even in the end, their last breathing moment together would be a dispute. It was so ironic he could laugh.</p><p>The desperate need for air eventually divided the two, both breathing heavily and gasping for air after. Ren looked over at Akechi, who had decided to place a hand on the chair by the bar, back facing him. His cheeks were flustered, painted with a beautiful ruby red. The same color as his eyes. Akechi wiped his mouth, smearing his saliva on the sleeve of his coat before facing Ren again.</p><p>“I’m going home,” he said, panting. “You’re clearly—<em> clearly </em>not in the right state of mind to make decisions the way you are now.” Akechi readjusted his scarf and pulled his loosened gloves. </p><p>Ren’s eyes were downcast. He could give Akechi the whole world, and it wouldn’t feel like enough. “No, Goro,” Akechi’s eyes widened at the name, but said nothing, “I know what I have to do.” </p><p>“..Oh really?” There was a challenge in Akechi’s eyes. “Good. I’ll be taking my leave then. See you tomorrow.” He walked towards the door.</p><p>
  <em> Or are you really so spineless that you’d fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life? </em>
</p><p>Ren was standing still until he wasn’t. His feet moved on his own as he threw his arms around Akechi. He chuckled weakly, head resting in the crook of Akechi’s shoulder. “Guess I am spineless, huh?”</p><p>They stood there one last time. Akechi let Ren stay there on his shoulder. Tufts of raven black hair tickled the bottom of Akechi’s nose. Ren smelled of coffee beans and spice. He smelled like home. </p><p>Akechi knew better than that, though.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Akechi murmured. His hands were gentle, surprisingly, as he lifted Ren’s head from his shoulder. He gave Ren one last lookover as if he was taking him in one last time in Leblanc. Fuck, he was going to miss this. He took one final step away from Ren’s embrace. Ren didn’t chase him again. He knew he had lost. Akechi walked towards the door, fingers wrapped around the handle. He paused for a moment, looking back at the cafe. He sighed, eyes drifting to the boy who had just kissed him.</p><p>For a second, it looked like Akechi was happy. The masks he wore had all dissipated, and for a split second, Ren saw Akechi’s real smile. One of regret and true peace of mind.</p><p>The jingling of the bells as the door closed for the second time that night made Ren feel lonelier than ever.</p>
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